let's start at the very beginning

Saturday, 3 December 2011

Doctors and iPhones

I've consulted two different cardiologists this year and I can tell you the riveting news that iPhones are the must-have accessory for the dashing doctor about town.

Cardiologist 1: 

Used an iPhone to take constant calls from the receptionists. Constant! While skilled at answering the phone, it bears mentioning that C1 was unable to take my blood pressure manually. I was tempted to joke there is probably an app for that - instead I assuaged his ego by telling him everyone has trouble with it - a lie.

C1 told me that although my TTT results were dreadful and he was very sorry about my quality of life, there was nothing further he could do for me and maybe one day I'd be strong enough to find a job where I could lie down a lot - like a librarian. I've never seen a librarian lying down, have you? What. Is. He. ON?!

I can think of a job where people lie down, amongst other things, but the oldest profession is not for moi. Nobody could afford this hot bod. 

Cardiologist 2: 

C2 is proactive and knowledgeable and keen to proceed with treatment. I'm learning lots from him. Refreshing.

Used his iPhone (is there a MIMS app?) to read out the list of side-effects of a medication I will try sometime next year. When he got to the side-effect of 'hair standing on end', he mimed what this may look like in real life by waggling his fingers vigorously.

I like C2, even if the bureaucratic burden of obtaining the new med is onerous. In March he suggested I try it, my application to the TGA didn't go through until July, and I'm still waiting for approval! Then it has to be imported from America. Not holding my breath. 

Specialist 3 (field of medicine withheld to protect the goose): 

Ran very late. I joked to my husband that he was probably looking up POTS and NMH on the internet. I was tickled to be right! He had printed the info and highlighted the important bits in yellow. Things like: do not get overheated, stay hydrated, avoid heavy meals, eat a high salt diet, wear compression garments, don't stand still on the spot, be careful bending - the standard lifestyle tips for that cluster of conditions. After living with both diagnoses a goodly while and already deploying those tips to little avail, those expensive bits of paper were underwhelming.

He's also a hypocrite: he told me at the previous appointment not to look anything up on the internet (he's ancient, his net-savvy patients must drive him wild). Then he based his whole appointment on the internet. The same internet I have at home. He may suspect me of cyberchondria, but I don't have enough time for that malarkey, I'm too busy pillorying him on my blog!

I prescribe him an iPhone. Then he could forbid his patients from using theirs. And play Solitaire! As a person newly emerged into the world of smart phones, it's amazing how nifty they are. I see what the rest of the world is on about.

25 comments:

  1. Another fabulous post greenwords!! Such a sharp profile painted of each medico.

    But haven't you heard on the internet? Supine staff are going to be all the rage in the libraries of the future.

    I like the sound of C2!

    xx ms ok

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    1. You are too sweet, Ms OK. C2 seems to be a good egg. Here's hoping! And I had no idea supine staff were to be all the rage. Will they keep the books on the floor or the staff on elevated platforms? Intriguing. xx

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  2. MIMS is available on both iOS & Android (Apple put an "i" in front of it, "iMIMS" of course) so he probably was reading from it

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    1. iMIMS, how cute! Well that's very interesting - great that it's available on both platforms, I imagine it's invaluable.

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  3. Oh dear! your post is great, but what a sad indictment on the medical profession. I'm very glad that you have managed to keep smiling throughout and that you have *something* on the horizon to try. Wishing you very good luck with it, and while you are waiting have a Happy Christmas.

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    1. I had a lovely Christmas, thanks Amanda! Have been keeping up with your blog and am most interested to hear more about your wall bed thingie in your new office too.

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  4. "Cyberchondria"?

    Is that yours? That's funny. :)

    I suppose a doctor who looks stuff up on the Internet is better than a doctor who won't even do that. (But don't try this at home, kids!)

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    1. Hi cinderkeys, I don't think 'cyberchondria' is mine, but agree it is funny! And further agree a doctor who looks stuff up online is infinitely better than one who won't. So long as the pesky patients don't take it up as well.

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  5. You just made me laugh out loud. I don't know why we bother drag our butts to doctors who do this to us. Although at least C2 sounds more promising.

    Fingers crossed!

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    1. Hi Marzi, sometimes I don't know why we bother either, it's expensive and demoralising, I guess it's the tiny hope it may help. Fingers and toes crossed!

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  6. Love this post, just love it. x

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    1. You are too kind, Nasim. x

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  7. I'd love to have a job as a lie down librarian, or better still a lie down gardener! Very funny post. At least ur cardiologists are actually using the Internet, my new dr offered me CBT yesterday. Sigh! New dr is now my old dr.
    Loving the animated enthusiasm of C2, just brilliant! X

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    1. A lie down gardener, now you are talking - and not just to the blades of grass. Yes I rather feel your new doctor is best placed to be your old doctor. CBT indeed. Hmph. x

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  8. C2 is a bit awesome!

    What you need to do is become a salon hostess. Then you can recline on a chaise longue while all the wittiest people of the generation vie for your attention.

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    1. A salon hostess! I could get behind that! I hope while I'm reclining on the chaise longue I also get to wear a magnificent frock. I'll start a mental list of the witty people I'd love to vie for my attention...

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  9. Good to read you, Greenwords :)

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    1. Hi Signs, I am a bit behind in my blog reading, but I hope you're doing OK and that 2012 will treat you well :)

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  10. Great post, Greenwords. When I was in hospital (being diagnosed with diabetes) at the beginning of the year, I saw eleven different doctors in six days, ranging from the one who was helpful and reasonably knowledgeable about ME to the one who thought that I should see a psychiatrist, not because I have a lot of allergies - oh no - but because I am organised enough to carry about with me some information about my allergies. Apparently organised is the new psychotic. Or something.

    I hope you have a happy Christmas and that it's not too exhausting a time for you.

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    1. You should see a psych because you carry info about your allergies?! I thought that would make you a dream patient (I can never remember my allergies), not someone requiring a psych. I think organised is the new tremendous and that doctor can stick it in his ear. I hope the festive season was good to you, too. Thanks for the link to the lovely photo.

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  11. Hello Greenwords, got to love those Doctors who say one thing than do another!

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    1. Hi Gippy Gardener, yes, got to love them! Hope your garden is OK in the heat.

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  12. Happy New Year, Rhi!

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    1. And to you, my dear Footy Cat, which is how I always think of you. I was drooling over your glorious photos of mushroom fondue the other day. I still hope you will move back here and next door to me. I'd be a very friendly (and slightly peckish) neighbour.

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    2. Dizzy27/1/12

      It's taken me a while to read your last posts - have had the tab open since you wrote them but am severely limiting my use of the internet in a bid to gain more energy.
      However, each time I read a new post it draws me closer to you my lovely dear friend and I was so happy to see that you had some of those gorgeous orange poppies which 'litter' my garden. They are by far my most favourite blooms and make me smile each time I see them. From now on, when they bloom again, I will also think of you and that will bring me more joy!
      Keep up the good work. It is always so refreshing reading your blog although a sad reminder of your health also. By the way, wish I had thought of lying down before I was 'sacked' in my Library. Do you reckon that's what I did wrong lol! xx

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