Monday, 25 October 2010

Dear black ants,

I have noted that you enjoy:
  • eating craft glue under the daybed
  • swimming in the water filter
  • eating Temazepam
  • walking on my forehead
It would be nice if you desisted from these behaviours.

There is 70% dark chocolate on the top shelf in the pantry, I can’t believe you’re not nibbling that. If you can carry it, please bring me a piece.

Warm regards.

8 comments:

  1. hahahahah what does a doped up ant look like? Almost tempted to leave some Valium out for them to see!

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  2. It's hard to tell. Ants are random, benzos or not!

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  3. If you have the stomach for antocide but don't want to use chemicals, put out a plate of cornmeal. They'll take it back to the nest, eat it, and die.

    Unless they honor your polite request, of course. :)

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  4. Walking on your forehead! The cheek!

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  5. I'm surprised they can manage any of their other activities once they've munched the Temazepam. Just make sure to keep them off stimulants (not that I expect you have any!)

    Is there a season for them? Will they bugger back off soon? (No pun intended),

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  6. :-D Your ants are way more interesting than mine - all mine do is lurk under the patio, nest in my pots, and farm greenfly on my honeysuckle. Some of them did try excavating the walls so they could invade the kitchen for a while but we used these to get rid of those ones. I don't know whether you can get them over there though, or whether you'd want to - not the sort of thing I'd normally use, but they don't kill beneficial insects or stink like the sprays, and it's a bit difficult to water nematodes into walls!

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  7. I hope these damned ants are listening and bring you some chocolate. This post is lovely, a wee poem. x

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  8. Cinderkeys: Cornmeal, eh? Intriguing!

    Lottie, I do feel the forehead-strolling is a bit cheeky. I mean really.

    Amy - I know. Perhaps Temazepam doesn't work on their nervous system. Do ants even have nervous sytems?! There are usually ants around in the warm months - our wet season. They come inside when it's going to rain. So, all the time.

    Juliet, farming greenfly on honeysuckle sounds very interesting! Thanks for the link too.

    Nasim, they failed to bring chocolate. Outrageous.

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